Normally the news of a pregnancy is received by family and friends with joy. But it is not always the case, even when it is a desired pregnancy and the parents are enchanted with the news. I have been reading and talking with families who found that the news was not well matched by their surroundings and, perhaps without real bad intentions, made them really nasty comments about pregnancy and even desolate.
I tell you some examples that have left me really shocked and that the protagonists had a bad time despite the joy. And, even if we do not understand the moment chosen by another person for paternity, we must be careful when we express our opinion. Really, I've heard every thing ...
Unplanned pregnancies
Recently, a couple, both unemployed, who surprisingly discover an unplanned pregnancy but that they decide to carry on they explained their history to me and this post has inspired me. When they told the family, there were those who told them that it was better not to have it with the situation they were in, that they did not count on them to be kept or, directly, to ask, in a very little delicate way, the little care they had had with contraceptive methods.
Something similar was told to me by a mother who already had three children and, having the child still months, she stayed again. Despite the initial shock, she and the father decided to have their fourth child, knowing, logically, that it would be a very hard job, but happy once they accepted the new fatherhood. Again inconsiderate comments from family and friends, calling them crazy, or making things very ugly, as if they weren't able to have weighed up the fact that their son was born knowing that raising four children, two of them very young, would be chaos. the firsts years.
Single moms, by circumstances or choice, are also not saved. Do people really not realize that if a woman decides to be a mother alone, she will have already thought a lot about what she does to put up with a black future in professional, organizational or personal terms?
I remember a mother whose supposed best friend told her that, if she had a child alone, her body would remain a shame and there would be no way to get any man to notice her, because, in addition, she would not have money or time to go out
Teenage moms
When the mother is teenage or very young, although she will no longer suffer social stigma, if she finds that her environment does not always support her. The parents, the first, should be aware that, possibly, that their daughter gets pregnant without wanting it is a failure in the sexual education they have given her, but only to a certain extent, because adults and married couples also have Sometimes mistakes in controlling your fertility.
Without that we should encourage teenagers to have unprotected sex, the role of parents at that time is that of support for the girl to make her own decision freely and surely that, if she goes on, even if her life changes , will have love, respect and protection of his family so that he can be a mother and be educated at the same time. I have no doubt that a teenager who decides to be a mother can be and be a magnificent mother, develop a full life and grow as a person.
I know a few who have done it and I assure you that they do not regret having been mothers at an early age. The environment, however, is sometimes harmful and they childish them in their pregnancy or maternity, denying them the right to be fully mothers or pushing them not to have a child that perhaps, if they had help, if they would have had.
Unpleasant comments about a pregnancy
Another mother, who seems not to have the sympathy of the father's family, told me that she had to endure that her future mother-in-law told her that she had done a good business catching her son. Is it that people are crazy?
At work, things can already get very ugly and receive pregnancy with unpleasant comments. Peers usually think about everything and sometimes, moms, especially them, find themselves with a negative charge of comments and ideas that they have not requested. And, if above, the company is not too favorable to the idea of losing a worker, there are those who take almost a scolding of the boss or note that the consideration towards the quality of their work decreases, separates them from promotion or harasses them with questions about what he will do or not do when the child is born. Did something like that happen to you or was your pregnancy well accepted in the work environment?
But perhaps the worst are those that adopt a paternalistic and spooky role. From the couple that achieves a pregnancy after several abortions and the first thing they hear is that of “do not get your hopes up because you can lose it too” to those who start talking to you about prenatal losses, malformations and deaths, horrifying birth stories traumatic and misfortunes.
Childbirth
About childbirth, I don't want to tell you anymore, if the decision made is that of a home birth or in a clinic that offers natural birth. People who, without having much idea, call parents irresponsible and almost murderous, although, when they decide to give birth in a hospital, there are also those who have to see their decision questioned in a delicate way.
When a family expects a child with a genetic problem or defect and despite that decides that their child is born, well, it seems that congratulating parents who are going to have an added difficulty becomes impossible and there are always those who will tell them that they should abort instead of letting him be born. I do not explain, but it happens.
Receive the news with respect
The truth is that I always, even when the circumstances of pregnancy are not ideal for whatever reason, I share my joy for the new life and give them my blessings and my greatest wishes for happiness. I consider that to receive the news of a complicated pregnancy must be done with the greatest humility, humanity and respect. In addition, I must be careful and only give advice if requested, information if it is requested. And I think that is what everyone should learn to do.
I know that a minority are those who do not know how to congratulate on a pregnancy, but I would like you to tell us if they told you something unpleasant when you announced the pregnancy.
In Babies and more | How did you say you were pregnant? When did you tell the family you were pregnant? Being a dad: How to tell the news, Ways to surprise with the news of pregnancy
