We have talked about fatherhood and the enormous importance that the father will have in the emotional evolution of children on many occasions in Babies and more. In the two previous themes of this series we offered some advice to exercise paternity in a more coherent and loving way, trying to give parents ideas to evolve and overcome the mistakes of an overly authoritative upbringing, which previously left the father as a figure secondary school that offered above all discipline. But for Being a good father There are many facets that you have to know how to attend.
A good father is a model
Our children take us as life model, and what we do is more important than what we say. Therefore, for both boys and girls, that their father is a responsible and respectful person with them, with others and with the environment, is an important model.
For the boys, their father is the man they look to know how they will be as adults. For girls, it is a figure that represents the model they will see as an example in other men but also, apart from gender differences, it has the same value as an adult reference figure.
A good father is a teacher in teaching and in life
Learning is something that children, apart from attending or not attending a school, develop in all facets of life. From what your dad teaches you, tell and show you, sharing experiences, you will learn content much more effectively since there is an additional element in sharing feelings that reinforces what is offered.
You have to find the time to learn with children, helping them if they bring homework, of course, but above all explaining the world and attending to their insatiable desire for knowledge. Reading with them a book, meditating, walking, painting or doing household chores offers an intense educational experience in which the father can be of great importance.
I believe that of all my educators, teachers, friends, family and readings there has been no one more important than my father. He showed me in a book the human body, he spoke to me, although I was a little embarrassed about his education, what he called the mystery of life, he taught me to read and offered me books, he introduced me to the passion for science fiction, anthropology and poetry, he told me the stories of Shakespeare's plays, he put me on classical music, I saw him prepare the scripts he worked on and he took me to see him in the movies where he played an interesting role or He directed, told me things about History and Science.
No one has taught me more than him. Actually, I believe that everything I know about my father has been the teacher in a direct way or leading me in the love of books and the answering and critical spirit. If I had not stepped on a school I even think that little would have stopped learning from his hand.
Actually I look a lot like my father, not only in cultural interests, but also in his way of relating to the world, both in good things, in his secure personality, in bad things, in his strong and overly sincere character. As he loves reading and loneliness, I have a few irreplaceable friends and I hate mass meetings.
A good father shares the everyday
Families, even in the maelstrom of modern life activities, need spend a lot of time together. The special leisure moments, parties or vacations, are important, but the daily life of the food or a walk or a game time is what creates the indissoluble bond of trust and mutual love.
Must be part of children's lives, eating with them, reading and playing, surfing the internet or watching a movie, on all those daily occasions the presence of dad makes the child really share his life. It is time to get to know each other better, to listen, to allow the child to tell us what happened to him, what he dreams, what he fears. Then, once he listens actively, the father can give advice that will be taken care of, he can be heard.
A good father reads with his children
I have said that it is important that the father be an active presence when the children operate the computer or watch television, but this is not enough. In our society these forms of leisure and information are very present, offering so many possibilities that books remain in the background.
And although the current forms of communication are valid love the books and enjoying them will allow the child a huge world of more active cultural and intellectual enrichment, in which not everything is given from the outside. That is why it is important for parents to read for their children and read to their children, making the book a living element in family activity. If the parents have not read and have not shown that reading is pleasurable, it is complicated then to try to force the child to consider reading important as much as the school tries to convey it.
In addition, there is nothing a child likes more than his parents read a story. From a very young age we can see how they enjoy the experience and create a calm and welcoming, loving and tender environment, which also helps to dissipate tensions.
A good father is loving
Men were previously educated to be strong, not expose their feelings, control tenderness and sensitivity, making them believe that manhood is based on hardness. But today we know that the ability to show emotions and surrender to love is something that enriches all people and also helps them to be happier and to make those around them happier.
Children need, to grow harmoniously, feel that they are loved, respected and loved by their family, for mom but also for dad. The kisses and hugs are something that is not told, that never exceeds and that always gives true strength, security and self-esteem. Dad's are as bad as Mom's.
That is why, even if it costs, children must be told how much they are loved and shown, with care, but also with hugs, affection and kisses.
Conclusion
To be a good father It is not enough to provide limits, rules and discipline. Nor is it enough to father the child and respond to his material needs. Being a good father goes beyond that, it is to be reliable, affectionate, consistent and responsible, and above all, to dedicate the children as much time as they need, sharing their daily lives as models and as teachers of existing.
