What happens in the hospital when giving birth is not always what couples expect to happen, and sometimes there are complications or interventions, such as a C-section, that cause a separation between mother and baby.
It can happen, if the baby is healthy, that when the relatives arrive they will meet the partner of the parturient and the baby in their chest, making skin with skin; or it may happen that the baby is in a crib, as if waiting for his mother to arrive.
But you know, a newborn in front of his family is like a candy at the door of the school, and many relatives will pick him up to hug him, kiss him, welcome him and pass him from arms to arms. Therefore, in order to avoid it, I tell you dear visitors: do not take the baby before his mother if they have separated.
The separation can have consequences
In hospitals they already know: the separation of mother and baby can have consequences, that is why more and more mothers are insisted on taking it skin by skin, just being born, and having it for a while.
What consequences? Well those derived from not having an early contact mother baby: the baby can have more problems regulating the temperature, because where he does best is in his mother's chest, which is able to increase in temperature when his baby is on; stress levels are higher because he is alone and not with mom; the suction can be worse because as it has been known for a long time, many babies do not take well to the breast because they separate from their mothers at birth; because there seems to be differences in establishing the emotional bond if there is a separation; and because the ideal thing for a baby is to become contaminated through the contact of the bacteria of his mother.
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However, in case there is an intervention different from what is considered normal, the risk-benefit is weighed and the necessary is done to restore the level of health of the mother so that she can be with her child as soon as possible. Sometimes it is a matter of a few hours ... in the case of caesarean section the separation does not usually happen after 2-3 hours, if everything goes well, so at that time nobody should take the baby, if it is not the mother's partner to make skin with skin that, in the absence of the mother, will always be better than leaving him alone.
How should the grandmother not take it?
I'm sorry in case some grandmother gets angry and says that how she is not going to take her grandson, but it is not ideal. First, for a matter of physical and mental health of the baby. Have you washed your hands before taking the baby? Because they have just been born and if they come from the street they will most likely bring germs in their hands. First wash them to avoid it; and if they have no way of doing it, don't take it. On the other hand, do you want the baby to sleep that quiet night and be able to take the breast well when the mother comes? Because if the answer is no, go ahead: take it. But if the answer is yes, don't do it. The last thing a newborn needs is to go from arms to arms, hearing different voices, changing smells and arms that never catch him in the same way.
"What is mom?", She wonders ... and despite coming to the world prepared to know the taste and smell of mom, which is like the amniotic fluid in which she has lived nine months, she will not find it in any of those people. So hours later, when he is finally with his mother, will cry and be agitated by the nerves and stress experienced, because of the fear and anxiety of having been with unknown people, when all he needed was to be naked on his mother's skin to be calm and in time to look for his chest.
And mom will think that something is wrong with her, that she is too nervous, that she does not fuck the tit, that she may have a problem as a result of childbirth, or separation, or that she does not know how to take care of it. The first day, and you will feel that you are not doing well.
Out of respect for the baby and the mother
The mother has just given birth to her baby, the one she has been waiting for nine months, and although they have been separated, she is still her baby, the one that has developed inside her, the one that has grown inside her, the one that He has formed from his entrails, from his body.
A union that has broken with the umbilical cord but that has not yet been completely unlinked, because the mother knows that the baby is already outside, knows that it is not in her body, but she still feels it as part of herself. It is still her. The baby it's still mom. Rationally he knows no, but instinctively he feels they are still one. That is why many women have a really bad time when other people catch their babies in the first few days; They feel threatened, hurt, hurt. Many say nothing because they say to themselves that it is not right to feel that, but others let out the wolf woman they have inside and more or less touch recover their offspring from the arms of others to continue protecting her.
Well, if this happens when days have passed, how can you feel if only hours have passed? Even I, who am a man, put myself in his place and I would put on a motorcycle if, on arrival, I saw that my baby had passed through everyone's arms rather than mine. And I imagine her angry, asking to be released, to give it to her, and crying for not having been there... asking your baby for forgiveness for a separation that didn't really depend on her, but feeling the guilt of not having been able to do more to avoid it.
So, out of respect for the mother, nobody should take the baby before she takes it, because the baby is mom.
And dad? Yes. Dad yes. If there is a good relationship between mom and dad (hopefully), the mother can give that space to the father, until finally she can take care of it, for the benefit of skin with skin ... the baby will not be able to breastfeed, but at least he will hear a heart close, you will feel the warmth of your father and will be much calmer than in a crib (they can also speak it before it happens, in case the mother's desire is to be the first to take it).
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In fact, the advice I would give to all parents is that of Do not let anyone know until you feel you can receive visitors: when you are in the room with the baby and has eaten, and is asleep, calm, and you have begun to meet. And let only the closest ones come. The rest, they will be told when they can come. It may be even when the parents are at home, and not necessarily the first few days. Because the baby is not going anywhere, and it is worth opening the door when you feel like others come, and not when it can be a problem because you still do not sleep well, you still do not understand and can still improve the thing.
And if the parents warn from the hospital, because they consider it better that way, that visitors are as respectful as possible. Yes, I know he is the grandson who had been waiting for years, I know that catching a baby is one of the most beautiful things there is, and smelling them, and feeling how they move in your arms when they barely weigh. But the mother deserves her baby to wait for her because if everything had gone well, they would have been together, and for hours, from the first moment.
Photos | iStock
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